Losers make points. Winners make differences.
“Are you making a point or are you making a difference?
Losers focus on making their point, so they can put their point(s) on their figurative scoreboard nobody cares about.
Winners are highly concerned, focused, & intentional about making a real, tangible difference.”
-Ray Zingler on X
I wish I remember where I heard that phrase formed as a question, initially, but I don’t.
“Are you making a point or are you making a difference?”
You see a lot of selfish people are focused on “being right” so they can “make their point”.
“Yeah, it wasn’t my fault we lost. I was playing, but at least I did my job.”
What does that accomplish? For anybody?
You’re in an argument with your girlfriend or spouse and you go to knit picking, listing off all the things you did that were right and things she did that were wrong, regarding the situation..
Okay?
For what?
Does this create a solution?
Does it resolve the conflict?
Or does it make your pride and ego temporarily feel a little better, dancing around the root issue to score points that don’t even win you a game?
Making a point is for losers.
It’s generally low value if the “point you’re making” doesn’t contribute to a solution.
The far more mature, winner option is to aim at making a difference.
“We play as a team, we lost as a team, there are things we can all work on to improve for next time.” You know that cute phrase “We>Me”? That’s what that means.
“My spouse isn’t always right, but neither am I. Instead of attacking her perceived shortcomings I am going to focus on areas that I need to improve within, so that together, we can work on minimizing future conflicts.”
It’s that easy, but 1 in 2 (and growing) marriages fail because people feel like they must “be right” and “win” all the time.
Win what!?
Life is a journey that as you grow older, is never absent of adversity.
There is always something “suboptimal” going on in the foreground and/or the background.
That’s how it works.
You can bitch about it and try to pretend that life should be all rainbows and butterflies all the time, or you can lean into it and learn to thrive in the absence of optimal.
It starts with choosing to be a mature difference maker.
Not a loser who is hell bent on making a point.
It’s why the point makers are miserable, while the difference makers thrive.
