Here are 6 non-negotiables required to merely earn a chance at making a lasting positive impact on them:
“As a coach, you don’t ‘get’ to make a difference in a kids life simply by showing up.
It’s a moral obligation via an opportunity you should be grateful to earn.
It’s relationships that fund the impact.
-Listen.
-Learn.
-Validate.
-Build Trust.
-Love Them.
-Follow Through.”
-Ray Zingler on X
Kids are not as simple as many adults make them out to be.
They are (far) more keenly aware than you might think.
They can see through adult bullshit faster than we can see through our own bullshit, most times.
There is no fooling them.
They know when you’re only saying you care, and they know when you actually care.
And when you only say you care, they’ll put on a façade to go along with your game to prevent any sort of backlash or punishment, but that’s the extent of it.
They know that you (“Coach X”) doesn’t actually care and because you don’t actually care they know you’re not going to make a lasting positive impact on them, which most definitely will prevent you from “getting the most out of them”, but more importantly (sadly) “them feeling empowered to get the most out of themselves.”
When you don’t care, or only slightly care, you’re far more of a taker from them than you are a giver.
And most coaches don’t have the self-awareness to understand this because they feel they are the more important aspect of the equation, when in reality, the kids are the infinitely more important.
Need proof?
Have you ever tried to Coach a team that didn’t have kids on it?
Exactly.
Coaching isn’t a job.
It’s not a hobby.
It’s a responsibility.
It’s a calling that has life altering implications attached to it.
How do you “get the most out of them?”
It’s an unending process, right?
“Ouch.”
But yep, it’s a 24/7/365 obligation. (You can see why most aren’t cut out to be successful at this.)
You start by listening to them, imagine that!
From there, you learn about them, what they like/dislike, what they respond to/don’t respond to. You establish their archetype.
Now you validate them. You make sure they know you see them.
Next you get into the nitty gritty, you establish rock solid trust with them.
Then you love them, and you love them hard. You make sure they know it, too.
Finally, you follow through on your word.
You be for them who you said you’d be. Everyday.
If you’re not going to go all in for them, don’t go in at all.
